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Heteroflexibility – What Does it Mean to be Heteroflexible?

Heteroflexible means “mostly straight.” This term refers to people who are mainly attracted to people of the opposite gender but are open to having relationships with people of the same gender.

Regarding a 2020 study, up to 15% of the US population is heteroflexible. This is more than the sum of bisexual, gay, and lesbian people altogether. However, most people do not understand the term heteroflexible. This article will guide you, all you need to know about being heteroflexible and how to figure out if you identify with the label.

Let’s get started!

What is Heteroflexible?

To break it down a little bit, heteroflexible means “mostly straight.” This term refers to people who are mainly attracted to people of the opposite gender but are open to having relationships with people of the same gender.

Since heteroflexible persons are not entirely straight, they are categorized as part of the LGBTQIA+ community. For example, a man can be so much into women meaning they can be dating women but still open up to experimenting with romance with fellow men. This case also applies to women.

Heteroflexibility entails a wide range of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. People who identify as heteroflexible can express desires to be with a person of the same gender. These behaviors may be sex, kissing, crushes, fantasies, or flirting with a same-gender person but still primarily attracted to people of another gender. Therefore, there are many ways for one to be heteroflexible.

Origin

The origin of this term heteroflexible isn’t clear, but the term made its way to social media platforms in the early 2000s.

However, the sense of being “mostly straight” isn’t new to the world. Straight people have been experimenting with relationships with same-gender partners for quite some time.

Recently, being mostly straight has gained fame with lots of personal essays and books covering the topic.

According to a 2015 study, half of the population between 18 and 24 years revealed that they are not 100% straight, with the number rising in younger people.

In 2016, another study revealed that only 48% of the younger generation are completely straight compared to 65% in the older generation.

What is the Difference between Heteroflexible and Bisexual?

Bisexual refers to a person who is attracted to both people of their own gender and those from different genders. The terms bisexual and heteroflexible can describe the same experiences, and some individuals identify as both. However, heteroflexible and bisexual terms are two different identities. In fact, different people prefer to identify as either heteroflexible or bisexual.

Linguistically, the words heteroflexible and bisexual do not sound the same. The term heteroflexible contains “hetero,” which may mean front or center. This may be more appealing to people who feel trapped in their mostly straight identity.

On the other hand, the term bisexual may be appealing to people who are more into partners of the same gender.

Why is the Term So Controversial?

There are some reasons behind the controversy of the term heteroflexible.

Several people believe that an individual can only be attracted to a single gender, i.e., sexual orientation cannot be flexible.

Other people think that this term is bi-phobic, meaning that biased against bisexual individuals. The argument states that one should identify as bisexual if they are attracted to more than one gender.

Some prefer to use the term heterosexual, not because they bigot bisexual, but because it’s more suitable for them. As earlier mentioned. Some identity as both heteroflexible and bisexual.

Why Do Some People Prefer Heteroflexible Over Bisexual?

There are different reasons for someone to choose one term over the other. For example:

  • Some people are open to being in a relationship with someone of the same gender, although they are not entirely certain about it
  • They are strongly attracted to people of a different gender; therefore, they prefer heteroflexible over bisexual
  • They might want to acknowledge their orientation flexibility

These are but a few reasons for preferring one term over the other. One can identify as heteroflexible for other reasons personal reasons besides the ones stated above.

How Do You Know You are Heteroflexible?

In a way, it’s great that some identities such as heteroflexible do not fit in a specific definition, meaning that the term can describe a wide range of people’s experiences. But then, this can be more complicated for questioning individuals. If there are no specific definitions, how do you identify as heteroflexible?

There are no tests to determine sexual orientations; you only explore and experiment until you fit in a specific identity. The following are some clues to help you understand if you fall in heteroflexible identity:

  • You are straight but curious about sexual relationships with people of your own gender
  • Being happy as a straight person but thinks and enjoys being with someone of the same gender
  • You are more into the opposite gender, but someone of your gender attracts you
  • You only want to date persons of the opposite gender but want to have fun with the same gender
  • The idea of not being with someone of the same gender makes you feel left out
  • You don’t feel represented by the terms bisexual or queer
  • You are open to being with someone of the same gender

What if You no Longer Identify as Heteroflexible?

It happens, and there is nothing wrong with it. Sexuality is fluid, meaning it can change as time passes by. You can identify as heteroflexible, but you may experience sexual changes with time and want to change the label.

Remember by simply changing your sexual orientation does not make it invalid. You can identify what you are comfortable with and change to what you feel comfortable with.

Whether you change your identity multiple times or your identity remains as it is, you are valid and should be respected.

You don’t need to feel confused, although there’s nothing with that. Take your time to evaluate your feelings. Explore and do not limit yourself. Follow your heart, and in no time, you will know which label to use for now.

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Samuel Njoroge

MODEL: Samuel Njoroge

Samuel (he/him) is a freelance writer, blogger, copywriter, and marketer. And a career spanning three years and enjoys crafting error-free content that increases subscriptions and sales. Samuel excels in mental health, self-improvement, technology, and marketing topics.