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How to Deal With Unsupportive Family and Friends

It’s normal to be not supported, but have you wondered why your loved ones do not support you when it comes to certain decisions?

Are you excited about moving out so that you can be independent? Or maybe you want to quit your current job to start your own company? But unfortunately, upon sharing your decision with family and friends, they seem unsupportive? That’s nothing to worry about since most people go through the same on a daily. It’s normal to be not supported, but have you wondered why your loved ones do not support you when it comes to certain decisions? In this article, we will highlight some reasons why some people do not support you, as well as how you can deal with it.

Why Are They, Unsupportive Family and Friends?

The main reason your loved ones are unsupportive is either they are scared for you or themselves. For example, when you come out to your loved ones that you are a trans person, they might be scared of what may be lying ahead of you. They might be scared of the discrimination and heartbreaks that you will encounter, hence being unsupportive as far as your sexuality is concerned.

On the other hand, they might be scared of what impact your decision will have in their lives. Maybe isolation by their friends since their keen is a transperson. The following are some reasons as to why your loved ones are unsupportive.

They Care About You

There’s a probability that they want you to have the best. They want to be at ease knowing that you are doing the right thing. Sometimes our loved ones think that what seems right to them is always right. For example, your parents may think that you are making yourself vulnerable to harm when you move out of the house. That’s why they might not support your moving out since they don’t want to worry about you.

To Keep You from Pain

Most of our loved ones do not want to see us in pain. If they think that not supporting your decisions will ensure that you will not experience pain, that’s what they will do. If you feel that they are not supportive of your choices since they do not align with whatever they think is best for you, do not take it negatively, it’s just that they love you and wouldn’t want to see you hurt.

They are Reflected in Your Choices

This is mostly the case with parents and siblings. A choice to live, do things or behave in a certain way impacts the lives of those close to you. For example, a teen having a child or moving out of their parent’s house may indicate a wrong upbringing. Although some teens make their choices not because of how they were brought up but maybe due to peer pressure, some choices may negatively impact the whole family.

When it comes to sexual orientations, most families would like it if their keens are straight, so when you come out as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, it’s normal for your family to think about what other people will say about them. In cases like these, your family does not have another choice rather than not supporting your decisions.

Why Your Friends are Unsupportive – They are Jealous

Though in most cases, lack of support is based on what others think is best for you, in some cases, it’s based on jealousy. Especially not all your friends will be happy if you are making the most out of your life and now you are speaking of starting your own company.

For example, you can say to your friend, “I am excited about starting my own company. I have learned a lot from my current occupation, and I think I’m capable of running a successful organization.” You will be amazed when they say, “What? Do you want to leave a well-paying job so that you can start from scratch? I don’t agree with you. In fact, a new company needs lots of patience before you start getting something you can call profit. Besides, how are you and your family going to cope before your company makes a profit?” This is a clear indication of jealousy and an unsupportive friend.

What to Do If You Have Unsupportive Family and Friends 

Follow Your Heart

Do not wait for their approval. If your decisions are sound, go for them. If there is someone who needs to approve of your actions, let it be you. If you wait for other people to approve your action, it only means that you are ready to give up on whatever you think is best for you.

Surprise Them with Success

In most cases, people will be unsupportive since they are afraid you are going to fail. Since you have decided to follow your heart and dream, the only way to make them wish they had supported you is by succeeding. Work hard, live a happy life and achieve whatever you had aimed for. After seeing you thrive in the new occupation that they thought was not the best for you, they will realize that you were on the right.

Do not Disclose Too Much Information

Those who seem to disagree with anything you say ensure that they do not know much about your next move. This will ensure that you save yourself from an unwarranted lack of support. Additionally, if they are not going to impact your decision, it’s best to keep your next move to yourself.

Dealing with Unsupportive Family and Friends – Get a Support Network

If you feel that those close to you are always unsupportive, create your own support network. Make new friends who can be there for you and can go the extra mile to ensure that you are happy. Share with them whatever you think needs to be shared instead of experiencing heartbreaks due to unsupportive loved ones.

There are things to be shared and things to be seen when already done. Be smart to differentiate on who to tell what and who not to tell to save yourself bad times associated with lack of support.

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Samuel Njoroge

AUTHOR: Samuel Njoroge

Samuel (he/him) is a freelance writer, blogger, copywriter, and marketer. And a career spanning three years and enjoys crafting error-free content that increases subscriptions and sales. Samuel excels in mental health, self-improvement, technology, and marketing topics.