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How To Spice Up A Long Term Relationship

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The early stages of a relationship are always a whirlwind. There are constant butterflies in your stomach, you stay up all night talking, the chemistry is electric. But a few years into marriage, both priorities and desires have changed. But rather than seeing that change as negative, it’s an opportunity – a chance to reconnect.

It’s a truth we don’t want to talk about: marriage can turn into a dull routine rather quickly. But, like a plant, it’s something that needs to be tenderly cared for and checked in on regularly. Sex life and emotional intimacy both need to be maintained throughout a marriage, and that’s no easy task. Keep in mind that with every romantic partnership, there will be ebbs and flows naturally – it comes with the territory, after all. Working from home and wearing sweatpants as a uniform probably doesn’t help. Still, there are different ideas you can implement to keep that spark alive and stay crazy about each other through the years.

Make Date Night a Thing Again

During the dating phase of the relationship, date nights are a given. But when you’re living together and married, dynamics change. Here’s the truth: you still need to put in the effort, even though things naturally change after marriage. When things are closed during a lockdown, recreate past dates at home with a cooked meal or cocktail – minus the screens.

 

Introduce Role Play into the Relationship

As beautiful as your spouse is, we all get used to things and like to switch it up once in a while. However, we’re not just talking about a wig and outfit change. Roleplay doesn’t need to be exclusively in the bedroom. For instance, think about sending them dirty texts at work. you can even rock lingerie under work apparel and take undercover selfies at work for your partner.

 

Order Some Toys Online

Introducing a new element to your sex life can revive passion if that’s the area you’re lacking in. There are all kinds of toys to help you explore your body, from vibrators to G-spot dildos. Experimentation in your relationship won’t just facilitate pleasure – it’ll help bond you as a couple and encourage you to be more open with each other.

 

Scheduled Romps Are Fine, but Don’t Lose Spontaneity

Adding sex to your calendar doesn’t seem romantic to some, but we have many things to take care of nowadays, and scheduling it in can be helpful, especially if you need to get a sitter for the night. Just looking forward to that night of the week can be thrilling, but remember to cut your partner slack on hectic evenings or after a long day. And most importantly, don’t lose all sense of spontaneity. Nothing kills romance faster than predictability. This can mean unscheduled sex or a salsa lesson.

 

Get Into Erotica

Classic porn isn’t for everyone, and that’s totally fine. Erotica can be just as exciting. If your partner isn’t as excited about visual pornography, consider stories. Sure, you can read erotica, but have you ever considered writing each other sexy stories? Write what you want your partner to do to you, or spell out your wildest fantasies. When they know exactly what you want out of a romp, it’s sure to be more satisfying.

 

Sensory Stimulation

Creating an atmosphere is one of the best ways to reconnect with your partner. You can do this by keeping your bedroom cleaner, searching for a sexy playlist. Maybe you can add some dimmers or candles to the room, and a set of luxurious bedding. A candle with a specific scent can actually condition you to anticipate sex, and the building of that sensation is alone to bring on some steamy chemistry.

 

Compliment Your Partner More

When we get used to someone long-term, we stop showing them that we appreciate them in the ways we did when dating.  Make sure that you still dress nicely for your partner, and shower them with compliments. Try to remember the small thing, like their favorite treats, or surprises.  Don’t forget to engage in physical touch besides sex, whether it’s holding hands or a hand around the waist.

 

Attend a Couples Therapist

Counseling isn’t the sexiest option on this list, but it’s one of the most effective. Whether you choose a session online or in person, a session with a relationship counselor or sex therapist can help provide an objective point of view and mediate your discussion. Even though our spouse is our world, we sometimes need a safe space to communicate our needs.

 

Do a Spa Day at Home

During the pandemic, you might not be able to book a couples massage or a day at the sauna. But that doesn’t mean you can’t recreate it at home. Steam up your bathroom and throw some eucalyptus on the showerhead. Buy matching robes and get naughty in the shower or bath. If shower sex isn’t for you, try washing your partner’s hair, massaging their scalp. It’s actually a lovely way to experience intimacy and bond further.

Don’t Forget the Foreplay in the Relationship

When you’re married, it’s easy to fall into a sexual routine and get right to it when it comes to doing the deed. But you’re not in a rush, so slow down! Titillate each other with slow kisses up and down the body. Tease them with a little oral. Nibble, suckle, bite, and stroke away. Introduce a blindfold into the routine. This will be sure to add some spark back into your regular lovemaking sessions. After all, the unexpected is what draws us into things, right?

 

Exercise or Take a Cooking Class Together

Trying something new or doing a hobby together is an effective way to bring you physically and emotionally closer. Try a virtual cooking or exercise class online. Both will get your endorphins up and bring out a competitive streak, which can be sexy and exciting to see in a partner. After all, seeing your partner in an apron or a yoga pose might get you going in a way you’d never expect. Another added benefit of exercise? Endorphins, which will make you want to get freaky ASAP.

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Naima Karp

MODEL: Naima Karp