Couple Connection San Diego

John Bacon Gilbert, he/him

Couples Therapy – LMFT#125762

From the onset of couples counseling, and throughout treatment, I take a neutral stance. You two are the experts of your lives and it’s my job to understand how both of you experience the relationship.

It is very important to me to be prepared for your appointment, and that starts with beginning your session on time. I take great pride in being punctual. I’ve been a client in a waiting room too, and I want you to know my career doesn’t make my time more valuable than yours.

When a new client enters my office I learn as much as I can. When working with a couple, I imagine the space between them on the sofa as my client. How can I close that space between them? It’s not my job to find the “wrong” person in the relationship. I believe we all interact in relationships in a way that makes sense through our own perspective–a fact that rarely makes as much sense to our partners. My focus lies in helping to decipher those interactions and restore the connection.

I use a model of therapy called Emotionally Focused Therapy. If you are not an “emotional” person, don’t worry I’m not either. The model is focused on eliciting experiential changes. Some therapy models focus on tools, homework, or communication styles. While those are helpful for some, it depends heavily on actually using the tools. In the heat of an argument, the successful deployment of said tools isn’t likely. This often leaves couples frustrated and seeking therapy again.