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What to Do if You Don’t Know Who You Are Anymore

Not knowing who you are is perfectly normal because our identities keep changing at every stage of our lives

What does it mean not to know who you are anymore? Or rather, is not knowing yourself a normal thing?

Not knowing who you are anymore means feeling lost or losing a sense of purpose and important things to you. It means behaving in a way to please others instead of following your own heart and being yourself. It’s the feeling of constantly struggling to find one thing that will give you a sense of identity, purpose, and belonging.

Not knowing who you are is perfectly normal because our identities keep changing at every stage of our lives. The truth is everyone faces different struggles in life, including self-identification. As Jared Leto says, “to find yourself, you must first lose yourself”. The loss of identity and purpose is practically normal, and many people suffer from it.

Not knowing yourself can be overwhelming in life. It becomes hard to make your own decisions, set and achieve your goals, and often have feelings of dissatisfaction because you don’t know what you want.

6 Essential Ways to Reconnect with Your True Self

Knowing yourself is part of life; it’s a lifelong journey. This is because we are always growing, changing, and evolving. Knowing yourself is not simple; it takes reflection, work, and a lot of self-awareness to know who you are.

Below are some tips that will help you find yourself again and increase your self-awareness.

How to Know Who You Are – Know Yourself (Again)

Try reflecting on the things you used to enjoy and make you happy and write them down. Imagining these things should make you feel better about yourself. Your preferences are part of your being; you should not be too busy and neglect them. Your self-care and well-being should always be a priority.

For instance, if you always enjoyed playing football, persuade your friends and join a football team and start playing again. If you enjoyed lifting, get a gym membership and make it happen.

But, if you’ve never been involved in any particular activities, try different activities, and believe me, you will find something that makes you happy and worth spending your time on.

Here, the aim is to find that little spark that will help ignite or revive your sense of identity and belonging.

Listen to Your Mind and Body

You need to listen and get in touch with your feelings and understand what the body wants to identify your likes and dislikes.

Your mind and body are the best friends when it comes to your thoughts and interests. They help you know if an activity is beneficial or not or if something makes you happy. For instance, once you start playing football or lifting your mind and body will detect how you feel during the activity. 

Apply this method to other activities and ask yourself some relevant questions. Do certain activities make you happy or tense? Do you enjoy football more than clubbing? Do you enjoy long walks more than movie nights? Your reactions and feelings to these different activities will help develop a deeper connection with your mind and body.

How to Know Who You Are  – Make Decisions

The process of decision-making is related to your identity, as expressing your desires and wishes portrays your identity and self-confidence.

The phrase “I don’t know who I am anymore” should not deter you from making decisions. Speak out your opinion on every topic and discussion. Make a decision that you’ll be making your own decisions from now henceforth, and you won’t stop until it becomes a habit.

For instance, decide to start that small business you’ve been thinking about for some time now. Decide to propose to that girl you’ve been dating for a long time, whether she’s beautiful or not, as long as she makes you happy. Don’t care about what people say about her – the most important thing is that you like her.

Start progressing, make decisions from small to the big ones, and you’ll discover your identity and inner self. Be confident and happy for who you really are and acknowledge all your flaws as they are key in restoring your identity and inner self.

Identify Your Core Values

Sometimes, you spend so much time pleasing people or living someone else’s standards that you think you have the same core values as them. It’s time you explore and identify your core values and stop living other people’s lives.

The best way to go about this is by writing down your core values for reference, think about and follow the people you admire most or role models.

The best core values to start with are ambition, achievement, charity, collaboration, and creativity.

How to Know Who You Are  – Avoid Negative Thinking

Negative thinking leads to unhappiness and dissatisfaction in life. Having negative thoughts often means that something is wrong and needs to be changed.

To avoid negative thinking, you should redirect your thoughts to focus on the positive things that happened or are happening at the moment. Live in the moment and express gratitude for everything you already have rather than worrying about what you are lacking.

Understand that everyone has their unique pace, and there is no need for competition. Remind yourself that making mistakes is okay and normal, as everything in life is a process. Learn to replace negative thinking with belief and courage that everything happens with a reason, and everything falls into place in the end.

Stay Engaged

Finally, after discovering your preferences, it’s time to stay active and engaged by doing what you like. This means that these activities should be part of your routine as it’s the best way to find true happiness.

Staying engaged also means getting in touch with your inner fears. You should face your fears as they are part of who you are, and when neglected, they can come back and have massive consequences when you least expect it.

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Samuel Njoroge

MODEL: Samuel Njoroge

Samuel (he/him) is a freelance writer, blogger, copywriter, and marketer. And a career spanning three years and enjoys crafting error-free content that increases subscriptions and sales. Samuel excels in mental health, self-improvement, technology, and marketing topics.

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